Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version
by MM-CB
Summary: This will be a collection of oneshots (and perhaps a few twoshots) similar to the original Random Rizzles Phonecalls, but everything that goes in here will be rated M. IN PROGRESS, will be updated whenever I feel like writing some Rizzles smut :)
1. The Side Effects of Peruvian Sweat Tea

Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version

**A/N:** Hello there. This fic will be a collection of oneshots, similar to the original Random Rizzles Phonecalls, but everything that goes in here will be rated M. I'll keep adding to it whenever I feel like practicing my smut-writing skills, and I hope you'll enjoy it :)

* * *

**The Side Effects of Peruvian Sweat Tea**  


**Rating: **M (see above)

**Disclaimer: **No copyright infringement intended, make no money, et cetera, et cetera.

**Summary: **This one is set after 5x11, "If You Can't Stand The Heat". Jane can't sleep after drinking from her mother's sweat tea and starts texting her LLBFF.

* * *

J: Hey  
U awake?  
Nvr mind, c u 2moro

M: No, I'm awake. What's wrong?

J: I made a mistake

M: What kind of mistake?

J: Took a sip from Ma's tea

M: How is that a mistake? I drank some of it too, and I'm feeling a lot cooler already.

J: Well I'm not :(  
I'm feeling all hot &amp; bothered &amp; can't sleep because of it

M: Well, you knew about the aphrodisiac substances in that tea before drinking it. Goodnight :)

J: No! Don't go!

M: I don't think you'll be able to keep texting me while masturbating.

J: Why would I do that? *eww face*

M: You said you're feeling 'hot &amp; bothered', you've ended things with Casey and from what I know, there's no one else you could call in the middle of the night. So there's a high chance you're going to take matters into your own hands (pun intended ;).

J: Ha ha. I'm not gonna take anything into my own hands 2nite  
And I don't care masturbation is a perfectly healthy &amp; natural thing 2 do blah blah. Not gonna do it, period.

M: Why not, do your hands hurt?

J: Nah, it's not that.

...

* * *

J: Ugh, fine. It's *that* time of the month &amp; I'm feeling all weird &amp; icky :(

M: Do you have a tampon inserted?

J: Sure, why?

M: Then everything on the outside should feel nice and clean, not icky at all.  
But if you want to take a shower and change your tampon, go ahead. I'll wait.

J: ARRRGH!

M: Jane, are you alright?

J: Just screamed into my pillow in frustration

M: LOL :)

J: Really Maur? U know LOL &amp; use it against me?

M: Sorry.

J: U should be

* * *

...

M: Jane? Are you still awake?

J: Yeah. *curses Ma's tea*

M: I have an idea. Think back to how you discovered that touching yourself feels good.

J: Uhm...

M: Yes?

J: Dunno if this counts, since I didn't really touch myself, but when I was a kid (b4 I even knew about sex &amp; stuff), I used 2 hump my pillow or climb trees &amp; sit with my legs on either side of a thick branch. Felt really nice :)

M: Exactly.

J: ...?

M: You're in bed. There's a pillow right beneath your head. Use it.

J: No  
I feel silly  
I'm so tired, but I can't sleep

M: Call me.

J: What?

M: I was going to tell you about the benefits of phone sex, but then I thought I'd rather give you the real experience.

J: Maur, we're best friends. Best friends don't have sex, on the phone or otherwise

M: I just want to help you out so that you can get some sleep. Now call me or I'll call you.

J: Fine, Miss Bossy :p

* * *

"Well, hello there Jane." Maura's voice sounded awfully cheerful, considering it was about two in the morning, and Jane couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Maura, promise me we won't talk about this ever again. Well, I probably won't remember it anyway 'cause I've had a few beers too many, but just in case I do remember anything..."

"I know. I'm simply helping you out so that you can get some sleep, and then we'll go back to being best friends."

"Damn straight. So, what are you wearin'?"

"I thought **I **was going to help **you **out, not the other way round."

"Please?"

"Fine, I'm wearing one of my silk pajama sets. It's lavender in color, and the top is held closed by five buttons."

"You mean purple."

"No, lavender. What are **you **wearing?"

"Some panties and a tank top."

"Mmmh... Have I ever told you how much I like you in a tank top?"

"You do?"

"Oh yes. The way it hugs your body and shows off a bit of cleavage, just enough to make me want to see more..."

"So you like my boobs? I gotta say I like yours better, but to each her own, I guess." Jane paused for a moment. "Know what other part of your body I like almost as much as your boobs? Your ass. Yoga and wearin' heels all the time really does it for you, Maur."

"Why, thanks Detective. Your gluteus isn't bad either..."

"_Not bad? _Really?"

Ignoring the interruption, Maura went on: "I'd love to squeeze it in my hands while you're on top of me, riding my thigh, your wetness coating my skin. However before you got too far along in your quest for release, I'd flip you over onto your back, making you squeal in surprise. That squeal would soon turn into a moan, though, because I'd grab your hands and place them on my breasts."

There was a bit of rustling on Jane's side, followed by a soft groaning sound. "Oh God, yes. I've always wondered if your tits felt as amazing as they look."

"Well, they're soft, but firm, and my nipples get really hard when I'm aroused. Would you like to suck them?"

"Hell yeah..." Quickly shimmying out of her tank top, Jane tossed it away before retrieving her phone and readjusting her postion on the pillow. "Hey Maur, you can look a my tits now too, I just took off my tank."

"Mmmmmh... Can you come just by touching your breasts? According to a study I once read, some women can do that, but I've never met one who could."

"I- I don't know..." Jane's normally deep voice was reaching new levels of deep and smoky, a fact that Maura enjoyed immensely. "Keep talking," she requested, one hand staying on her chest while the other made its way down across her belly.

"Fuuuckck... Maur, I'm so hot right now, I'll probably cum the moment I start movin' against my pillow. Even just sittin' on it is almost too much right now..."

"Do it."

"What?"

"Imagine it's me laying underneath you and you making yourself climax against my thigh. And don't try to keep quiet, I want to hear you."

Jane Rizzoli normally didn't do well with orders, but right now complaining was the last thing on her mind. "Yessss, feels so good... You touchin' yourself?"

"Mmmh, yesss. I'm so wet..."

"Damn, I wish I was there with you... Can you put a finger inside?"

"It feels like I could easily fit three fingers right now..." Pulling her hand free, Maura grabbed one of her many pillows and hurried to shove it between her legs. "... but that's not what I want. I want to climax the way you will, grinding against a pillow that I pretend is your leg... God Jane, I'd love to feel those gorgeous legs of yours wrap around my waist as we make love..."

"Oh Goood..."

"We could engage in - ahhh - tribadism, I've always wanted to try that..."

"Tribal... what?" Jane got out in between moans and groans.

"Triba**d**ism, with a D. It's when two females rub their sexes together to achieve climax."

"Oh, you mean scissoring. Yeah, that'd be hot... I can feel it right now, our wet pussies slidin' against each other, my clit findin' yours... Fuck Maura, I'm so close..."

"Me too Jane... ooohhhh..."

"Maura..." Jane's entire body froze on top of her pillow as her inner muscles clenched and released around empty air, the contractions so powerful it almost hurt. "Maur..." she choked out, trying to take her best friend over the edge with her. It worked; seconds later, Maura too found release, slowly grinding against her pillow to make the most of the experience before collapsing onto her stomach, spent.

"Jane?" she breathed after a moment, her throat dry from all the noises she'd been making.

"Yeah?" came the equally husky, breathless reply.

_I love you. _No. _That was fun, let's do it again sometime. _Double no. "Would you like to come over for breakfast tomorrow?"

_God, this is awkward. _"Uh, sure."

"Great. Sweet dreams, Jane."

"Yeah, you too." Ending the call, Jane rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling in the dark. _Awkwardness, your name is Rizzoli and Isles. Where the hell do we go from here?_

* * *

**A/N:** There's no 'END' at the end of this because I might write a second chapter to it. Reviews please? :)


	2. Sweat Tea Part 2

**Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version**

The Side Effects of Peruvian Sweat Tea Part 2  


**A/N: **Sorry it took me so long to update this, I'm still pretty new at writing smut and find it quite hard to write sometimes. I hope you'll like it anyway :)

While the first part of this was written in 3rd person POV, this one will be told from both Jane and Maura's perspective. Just keep an eye out for *Jane* and *Maura*.

* * *

*Jane*

Two weeks had passed since 'the incident', and things between Maura and me were still awkward. When there were other people present, we were fine, but when it was just the two of us, it never took long until one of us would mumble an excuse and flee the scene. Which is why it took me by surprise when I walked into Maura's office and she immediately made eye contact, rather than shying away from it like we'd done for the past two weeks. "Jane, what brings you here? I'm not done with my report yet."

"I know. Uhm..." _Why am I shifting back and forth on my feet like a kid who really needs to pee? I never do that! _"I know things have been... weird between us since... you know... but I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight? We can order pizza, maybe watch a movie, y'know, the usual stuff..."

Maura beamed up at me from her position at her desk, and as cliché as that sounded, it made my heart skip several beats. "I'd love to! What time should I be there?"

"Uhm, 8? Providing we get to leave work at a decent hour?"

"Yes, eight o'clock sounds good."

"Great! See ya tonight." I forced myself to walk out of her office, rather than happily skipping out like I really wanted to. _Can't risk losing my badass reputation._

Unfortunately, we had to take a rain check on our movie night because at 5 p.m. sharp, dispatch called to tell us about some guy who had been found hanging from a tree in his backyard. Maura declared it a suicide pretty fast, but we still didn't get home until after 10 p.m. that night, hence the rain check.

* * *

Three days later, I was standing in front of Maura's door, debating whether to ring the doorbell or use my spare key. We'd agreed to have breakfast together at some sort of French bistro a few blocks from Maura's home (her idea, not mine), but I'd been waiting for ten minutes already and there was still no sign of Dr Always-On-Time Isles. Deciding that a situation like this definitely classified as an emergency, I inserted my key into the lock and pushed the door open. "Maura?"

No reply. I proceeded to check the kitchen, the living room, and the yoga room, all the while calling Maura's name, but she was nowhere to be found, and still didn't acknowledge my calls. _Now that's odd... she'd have called me if she'd gone into work earlier or something, wouldn't she? Perhaps she forgot to set her alarm and is still asleep... I'll go check her bedroom._

Decision made, I took the stairs two at a time and knocked on Maura's bedroom door. "Hey Maur, you awake? We were supposed to have breakfast together at that French bistro thingy - Maura? You alright?"

The only response was another painful-sounding moan, telling me that she was very much **not **okay. _Alright, I don't know who you are or how you got in, but in a few seconds, you'll deeply regret whatever you're doing. _I felt the adrenaline rush through my body as I reached for my gun and prepared to arrest whoever was in there causing Maura so much pain.

* * *

*Maura*

I knew it was a useless thing to do, but I instinctively pulled the blanket up around my shoulders when Jane barged into my bedroom with her gun drawn. "Jane! What are you doing here?"

Ignoring my question, she proceeded to clear the adjacent bathroom, my closet, and any other space where someone could have hidden from view before carefully approaching the bed. "Maura, you okay? Can you tell me who did this to you?"

"Jane, there was no one there, I was all alone in the room until you barged in."

"You sure? It sounded like you really were in pain..."

"I can assure you I wasn't. Now would you please put that gun down?"

"Right. Sorry." Re-holstering the firearm, Jane carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. "Just what were you doing there, Doctor Isles? It sounded like some crazy guy was torturing you and you were crying and moaning out in pain!"

"Well, the neurons that deal with painful and lustful stimuli respectively are located in similar areas of the brain, so..."

"_Lustful stimuli?... _What do you... Eewwww!" Leaping up, Jane backed away until her back almost hit the wall, all the while wildly flailing her arms. "I did NOT want to know that, Maura!"

"You asked, though..."

"I know, but... eww!" But despite her words and disgusted facial expression, she wasn't making any move to leave. Taking this as my cue, I got up from the bed and approached her, keeping the blanket wrapped around me like a Roman toga (well, more like a stola, since togas or togae were only worn by male Romans). "Jane, I have a confession to make."

* * *

*Jane*

_Uh-oh..._ "What kind of confession?"

"I did this on purpose. I wanted you to find me in this... 'compromising position'."

"Uhm... what? I mean, why would you... why...?" My brain couldn't seem to produce complete sentences in such close proximity to my nearly naked best friend, who had just admitted to... to what, exactly? "Maur, you wanted me to, y'know, catch you-"

"In flagrante delicto. Yes."

I blinked. "In what?"

"It's Latin for 'in blazing offense', meaning a person not only doesn't care if they're caught doing something, but deliberately put themselves in a situation where they're bound to get caught."

"Thank you, Google, but that still doesn't explain why you wanted me to walk in on you touchin' yourself."

* * *

*Maura*

They say actions speak louder than words, and my next action definitely had an effect on Jane: Her hands came up, as if to defend herself, and the shocked expression on her face would have made me laugh if it wasn't for the seriousness of our current situation. "Maura!"

"Yes Jane?"

"You're naked!"

"I'm very much aware of that, Detective, and I suggest you take some clothes off, too, so that we're on level footing here."

"...what?"

* * *

*Jane*

My eyes flashed from the bed, to Maura, to the crumpled blanket on the floor, back to Maura, and suddenly I knew exactly what to do... err, the lustful-whatever nerves in my brain knew what to do... never mind. Pushing myself away from the wall, I placed my phone, gun, and badge on the dresser table before approaching my best friend. "So, you want a repeat performance of our little session on the phone?"

Her hands went to play with the hem of my shirt, but I swatted them away. "Tell me first."

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Jane..." This time, her fingers went to my belt buckle, so I grabbed her wrists and pinned them against the sides of her legs. "Tell me."

"Thanks to our little phone sex session, I know what you sound like when you climax, but I want to experience it with my other senses, too. I want to feel you, inside, see what your face looks like in the throes of passion, and perhaps even taste your release, if you'll let me..."

I made a growling sound I didn't know I was capable of making before literally tackling Maura onto the bed. Giggling, she squirmed underneath me, trying to get free, but I wasn't about to give in so easily. "Uh-uh. You've had your fun, Doctor Isles, now it's my turn."

"Oh really?" With a smirk that could only be described as devilish, Maura shifted so that her left thigh was between mine and trust up, causing me to gasp. "Mmmh... Remember what I told you during our phone conversation? How I'd love to feel your arousal coat my skin as you're on top of me, straddling my thigh just like you're doing right now?"

* * *

*Maura*

"Oh yeah, I do remember that..." I couldn't help but shudder; Jane's voice in a normal conversation was enough to make me tingle all over, but that didn't even begin to describe how much her 'sex voice' affected me. "You wanna make that fantasy a reality now?" she continued in that sexy raspy voice of hers, and the only thing I could do was nod. _God yes, and when we're done with that, I want to reenact a few of my other fantasies, too..._

"Okay then." Getting up, Jane wiggled out of her clothes as fast as she could, then resumed her previous position. "Uhm, so how do we do this?"

"Just pull your leg up a bit - yesss, just like that - and then do what comes naturally." I could already feel my extremities start to tingle, signalling my approaching climax, and tried to warn Jane about it. "Jay, I'm close..."

"Mmmh, me too-ooohhh yeahhhh..." One hand squeezing her breast, the other supporting her weight on the bed, Jane threw her head back and froze on top of me. "Maura... ohmygodfuuuck..."

I really don't like it when she uses swear words in everyday life, but right now, it was exactly what I needed - well, that and the feeling of the little extra gush of wetness on my thigh. "Ohhh mmmh... Jane, you feel so good... yesssss!"

* * *

A few blissful seconds later, Jane collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily. "Wow."

"Mmh-hm, that was just a warm-up." Untangling our legs, I slid mine apart until Jane fell in between them, my sex inches away from hers. "This is what I wanted to try - tribadism."

*Jane*

"Maura, I don't think I can go again so soon." I tried to pull back, but a pair of yoga-toned legs wrapping around my waist held me in place. "Jane, do you trust me?"

"Yeah."

"Then relax." Tightening the hold of her legs, Maura pulled me closer until I could feel her wetness against mine. At first it was just... nice, really warm and soft, but when Maura started moving against me, it felt like little electric shocks going through my body. Acting on instinct alone, I started moving in counterpoint to her trusts while my left hand wandered up to cup her breast. "Uhm, sorry, is that okay?"

"Mmmh, yesss." Arching into my touch, she sped up her movements a little. "More than okay, in fact."

I smirked. "Glad to hear that."

"Jane..." Pulling me down on top of her, Maura hesitated for just a split second before pressing her lips to mine. She tasted mostly of peppermint toothpaste, but underneath there was a hint of her own personal taste, which only added to my arousal. "Maur, I love the way you taste..."

"Likewise, Detective." Our movements were becoming more and more erratic as we approached climax-

* * *

_Rrrrrrrrtt!_

"Aww, Maura, c'mon! It's Sunday, I don't wanna get up yet!" I complained while pulling the blanket tighter around my body. "And your stupid alarm woke me up from such a nice dream, too!"

Maura rolled over onto her side to look at me. "Really? What were you dreaming about?"

"Our first time - y'know, back during that heatwave when I drank some of Ma's aphrodisiac tea, called you in the middle of the night 'cause I couldn't sleep, and we had some of the most amazing phone sex."

"...and a little over two weeks later, you walked in on me masturbating and we had some of the most amazing 'real' sex," she added, smiling. "I fully understand why you're frustrated about being woken from a dream like that."

"_Frustrated_ is an understatement," I grumbled into my pillow.

"Welllll..." Maura drawled, pushing her blanket away and getting up. "Maybe we can release some of that frustration of yours in the shower?"

I almost landed on the floor in my haste to get out of bed. "Best idea ever, Doctor Isles."

END

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**A/N: **Positive reviews are great. So is constructive (!) criticism. Things like 'Worst smut I've ever read' will be deleted or reported.


	3. Happy Rizzles Playtime

**Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version**

**Happy Rizzles Playtime**

**A/N: **The app called HappyPlayTime is a real thing.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own it (same thing goes for Rizzoli &amp; Isles, btw).

* * *

It was my first day off in a long time, so I was pretty pissed when my ringing phone interrupted my afternoon nap. "Rizzoli," I barked into the device, followed by, "You better have a damn good reason to wake me up from my well-earned nap!"

"Hi Jane, it's me."

"Oh, hey Maur." Just hearing Maura's voice considerably improved my mood. "What's up?"

"I just came across something on the Internet that I wanted to share with you."

"Let me guess - another pair of ridiculously high-heeled and expensive shoes?"

"No. A new app called HappyPlayTime."

"Uh-uh... What's it about? I'm too lazy to get my laptop right now."

"It's a sex education game. More specifically, it deals with female masturbation."

"... what?"

"Female-"

"Nah, I heard you the first time. It's just, why would you need an app for that? Before cell phones were invented, people, y'know, got themselves off just fine without the help of any instructional apps."

"Well, from what I've understood, the main goal of this new app is to make women talk about how they 'get themselves off'. Most women do masturbate, but they never talk about it."

"Cause it's nobody's business what I do when I'm feeling hot and bothered and there's no one around to help me out. I know guys - well, teenage boys at least - brag about their solo adventures all the time, but I'm no guy and I'm certainly not a teenager."

"Neither am I, but I still think sex - including masturbation - is an important topic to talk about."

"Yeah, to the person you're having sex with. Other people don't need to know about your bedroom activities, Maur."

"Does this rule apply to my living room, shower, or workplace 'activities' as well?"

"Maura! Too much info... wait, you've done it at work?"

"Technically, no, I haven't."

"Phew, thank God - 'cause I'm pretty sure that's illegal."

"... but I do have this fantasy of touching myself in my office and someone walking in on me."

"_Someone? _Like, a person you know in real life?" _Nonono, what did I just say? Quick, find a way to change topic! _"Uh, never mind. Hey, did I tell you about this dream I had where your car was broken, and you had to ride into work on a giant tortoise?"

Maura giggled, a sound that made me tingle all over - I refused to think about the reason why. "So I'm not the only one dreaming about my best friend?"

"Apparently not... What did I do in your dream?"

"You walked in on me masturbating in my office."

"...?" Taking my phone away from my ear, I stared at the device as if it had just grown legs.

"Jane? Are you still there?"

"Huh?... Yeah. Just trying to process the fact that my straight best friend had a sex dream about me. I mean, it's not that I'm not flattered, but..."

"Yes?"

"It's... weird. You're into guys, you shouldn't be dreaming about your female best friend in that way." _Neither should I, but I have no control over what I dream. Damn you, brain._

"Well Detective, I did dream about you, and I happened to enjoy it a lot. Deal with it."

"Woah, no, I didn't mean it like that. It's just..." I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "You know the feeling when your mind says something's terribly wrong, but you still can't stop your body from reacting to it?"

"Is that what you're feeling right now?"

"I... yes. My mind says I'm straight and shouldn't be thinking about my female best friend havin' a little, uhm, alone time, but my body seems to like that thought very much."

"In other words, you're wet?"

I almost laughed; you could always count on Maura to be brutally direct. "Yeah."

"Mmmh, me too. What do you think we should do about that?"

"Uhm..."

"Jane?"

"I'm still there - in my bedroom, to be exact. You've seen my couch; lying on it can get uncomfortable after some time."

"I see. Go lock the door, take off your clothes and then get under your comforter."

"Fine, Miss I'm-not-bossy, but only if you do the same." I waited till I could hear some rustling noises on the line, indicating that Maura was undressing as well, before shrugging out of my tanktop and sweatpants and getting into bed. "Now what?"

"Get comfortable, and I'm going to tell you about this fantasy of mine."

* * *

I hesitated, not sure if I really wanted to go further. "Maur, are we about to have phone sex? 'Cause that's just not what best friends do."

"Oh please, Jane, we both know we're more than 'just' best friends. And I never said anything about phone sex, I just said I was going to follow the advice from this new app and talk about how I 'get myself off'. It's up to you if you want to touch yourself while listening to me."

"But-"

"I'm sitting at my desk at work. It's late, all my lab techs have gone home already, and so have most of your fellow detectives. I'm supposed to finish the report on my latest autopsy, but I find myself thinking about you instead. I do that quite a lot, you know?"

"What do you think about?" I was almost whispering, afraid to disrupt Maura's train of thought.

"Different things."

"Such as?"

"The way you ogled my breasts at Merch... the two times we had to take a decontamination shower together... or the countless times we changed in front of each other at the gym or during a sleepover."

"Uh, well, about the Merch one..." I could feel my face grow hot, even though that incident had taken place several years ago. "I didn't mean to stare at your boobs like that, but you practically thrust them in my face..."

"Did you do anything about that? Later that night, when you got home and couldn't sleep because your mind kept replaying that moment over and over again?"

_So that's how we're gonna do this? Alright then. _"Maybe..."

"I did."

"Did what?"

"Touched myself while thinking of you, but that's a different story. Right now, I'm in my office, picturing events in my mind that involved you in very little or no clothing at all. Suddenly there's a loud noise - a car horn or something - that startles me from my fantasy, and I realize that my panties are uncomfortably wet."

"So take them off," I mumbled in the general direction of my phone, which I'd put on speakerphone and placed on the mattress next to me. "It's late, no one's gonna walk in on you - wait, is the door locked?"

"No it's not - I figured that to be unnecessary, since it's really late and I'm almost alone in the building. Besides, thinking of you has made me really... hot, to the point that I actually don't care about getting caught."

"Mmmh, I know the feeling." My left hand apparently had a mind of its own; I was powerless to stop its movement down my upper body and back up, where it came to a stop right underneath my breasts. My right hand was still resting on the mattress beside me, but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it there much longer. _Pantiless Maura sitting in her desk chair, torn between finishing her report like the professional she is and giving into a much more animalistic need..._ The thought was sending little electric shocks through my body, something I hadn't felt in far too long.

* * *

There was a bit of rustling on Maura's side before she spoke again, sounding slightly out of breath. "So with one last glance at the door, I take hold of the hem of my dress, pull it up around my hips, and finally get rid of my panties. Since they're ruined anyway, I just drop them on the floor beside me and start running my right hand up and down my inner thigh, teasing myself."

I unconsciously found myself copying fantasy Maura's movements while my left thumb was now busy circling my right nipple. "Is- fuck- is that where I walk in on you?"

"Not yet. I quickly realize that I can't hold off any longer, so I push my left index and middle finger into myself and use the same fingers on my right hand to circle my clit. I can feel the pressure building, but it's not quite enough to get me to the peak, so I add another finger into myself and switch from circles to side-to-side rubbing. It feels so good, I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning... and **that's **when you walk in on me."

It seemed that all moisture in my body had run south - my throat was so dry that my voice resembled a chain smoker's as I tried to string some words together in a way that made sense. "What- mmh- what do I...?"

"Your face flushes a nice shade of red and you offer me a stuttered apology, but make no move to leave my office. On the contrary, you stand there for a moment, frozen in place, before locking the door and approaching me. Without a word, you crouch down under my desk, shove my right hand away, and suck my clit into your mouth."

At this point my left hand was furiously working between my legs while the right one had taken over the job of flicking my nipples. I could feel my inner muscles fluttering already, a sign that I was just a few yards away from the finish line, and judging from her panting breath and occasional moans, Maura was right behind me. _Maura... naked, touching herself and so close to falling over that edge... _My hips pushed up against my hand, fingertips pressing against my g-spot and my clit getting exactly the kind of friction it needed-

* * *

"Jane? Jane! Are you alright?"

With great effort, I rolled onto my side and picked up my phone. "Sorry, I'm here. Uhm, guess I blacked out for a bit..."

"Well, that's perfectly normal when experiencing a particularly intense climax. The French call it 'la petite mort', the little death, and it's caused by-"

"Maura, please don't go all Talking Google on me, not right now."

"Sorry. Uhm, I know we're doing this a little backwards, but would you go on a date with me?"

_But, I've only dated guys until now. But, all the people who think I'm gay - I don't wanna give them the satisfaction of havin' been right all along. But- _"I'd be honored to go on a date with you, Maura Isles. Just, no subtitled films, snails, or frog legs, okay?"

Her giggle was infectious - I couldn't help but smile as well, even though I was all alone in the room. "Deal. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you." Reluctantly, I ended the call before rolling onto my back, keeping my phone clutched to my chest and grinning at the ceiling like some lovesick teenager. _If someone had told me yesterday that I'd go on a date with Maura Isles, I would've scoffed at them and tell them to think of some better jokes. But now I AM going on a date with her... well hello there, little butterflies in my stomach, nice to meet you.  
_

* * *

END

**A/N: **Sorry, I just love happy fluffy endings :-)


	4. Too Late

**Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version**

**Too late**

**A/N: **This one was inspired by ep. 5x09 of Shameless (which I don't own) and is rated M mostly for use of swearwords and a little sexytimes suggestiveness (Rizzles and otherwise). Enjoy :-)

* * *

BPD, Maura's office, a few hours earlier

"Uh, Jane? Why did you lock the door?"

"So no one can walk in on us," Jane replied in her best 'Captain Obvious' voice.

"Doing what, exactly?"

"Reenacting the video Tommy sent me yesterday."

"I'm not sure I want to know what that video was abou- ahhh!"

* * *

Tommy Rizzoli's home, the day before

"You want me to WHAT?"

"Please Tommy? My latop's broken and I obviously can't do this on my work computer."

"Obviously," Tommy grumbled, wondering what the heck his sibling was talking about. "Fine, I'll do it. But you owe me for this, Frankie. Big time."

"Yeah, sure. Let's hope it'll work. And, uh, thanks."

"You're welcome." Ending the call, Tommy opened his own battered laptop and started searching for the requested video clips. Surprisingly, it took him just a few minutes to find them, write down the URL's, and send them to his big sister by text.

BPD

Jane Rizzoli's phone buzzed, indicating a new text message. It was from her brother Tommy and consisted of nothing more than two Internet adresses. _Now that's weird - even for my little brother. Seriously, what the hell?_

While Jane was busy frowning at her phone, another text came through, this one featuring several smiley faces and the words, *Hey sis, frankie + i thought u might hav fun with these ;-)*.

*Really? What r those, cute lil kitten videos?*

*Is my name vince korsak?*

*Good point. But srsly, what kinda vids r those?*

*You'll see ;-) U should watch em at home tho, they're kinda NSFW*

"Somethin' wrong over there, Rizzoli?"

"Nah, I'm good." Jane quickly put her phone away. "Did you wanna tell me something?"

"Yeah, I've got a date with your Ma tonight."

"Eww! I did NOT need to know that, Vince."

The older detective laughed, causing his belly to wobble a bit. "Just kidding. I'm practicin' for Fool's day."

"Well you better keep practicin', cause that joke wasn't funny. At all," Jane deadpanned.

"Party pooper." This time, it was Korsak's phone that buzzed. "Let's go back to yesterday's crime scene - some unis found a broken branch nearby that was covered in 'a reddish-brown substance', as Maura would say. Might be the murder weapon."

"A branch? Now that's a first; most perps would use a more solid weapon, like a baseball bat," Jane commented as she stood and reached for her gun, jacket, and car keys. "I'm driving."

Jane's home, several hours later

Realizing there was absolutely nothing on, Jane flicked off her TV and contemplated what to do next. _Maybe I should take a look at what Tommy sent me. I'm a little nervous about that, though; knowing my brother, it can be anything from nursery rhymes to porn..._

The first video started off innocent enough. It was set in an office and featured two people, an average-looking young guy and a blonde that made Jane do a double take: _What the hell? That chick could be Maura's twin sister!_

(clack)

_What was that?... Oh, College Kid locked the door. By the way, why does that kid talk like there's a hot potato in his mouth?_

("Oh, I don't wanna fraternize - I wanna fuck you.")

_Really? Maura's long lost twin sister, please tell me you have better taste in men than Real Maura and will kick this creep out of your office right n-_

_Too late._

(...)

_Huh, looks like College Kid is pretty good at lickin' pussy... though I bet I can do even better than him. Tee hee._

* * *

Dirty Robber, present time

"Hey there, Other Rizzoli!"

With great effort, Frankie lifted his head from the table to greet the Sergeant-Detective-turned-bar-owner standing next to him. "Hey."

"What's the matter, did some girl stand ya up on a date?"

"Nah, I'm tryin' to forget what I heard today."

"Yeah? What did ya hear?"

"My sister," Frankie said through gritted teeth. "And Maura."

"What's wrong with that?"

"They were, uh, y'know, going at it in Maura's office." Frankie shuddered, as if to physically erase the memory from his mind, and emptied his half-full glass of beer in one big gulp. "Trust me, you definitely don't wanna hear your sister doin' that. Ever!"

"Well, thank God I'm an only child," Korsak joked as he reached for Frankie's empty glass. "But, all jokin' aside, I'm glad those two finally pulled their heads outta their asses - especially Jane - and admitted they're more than 'just best friends'." With a pat on Frankie's shoulder that almost knocked the younger Detective out of his chair, Korsak returned to behind the bar, leaving Frankie alone with his thoughts. _Crap, there's not nearly enough alcohol in this bar - or all of Boston, for that matter - for me to forget about this. How exactly am I supposed to look Janie and Maura in the eye, next time I meet them?... Damn, I'm too drunk to think about this. I'm definitely callin' in sick tomorrow, there's no way I'll be able to work with the major hangover I'll no doubt get from this._

END

* * *

**A/N: **I hope this story made at least a little sense. (In my defense, I was pretty tired by the time I had finished writing and was able to publish it.) In other news, R&amp;I will return on June 16 - who's exited for Season 6? :-)


	5. Jasey

**Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version**

**Jasey  
**(not the way you think!)**  
**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything except a laptop and a somewhat dirty mind :)

**Summary: **Established Rizzles. Jane is in D.C. on some FBI training course and starts texting Maura, who is at home in Boston. A little angsty at first, then it gets sexy/romantic/cheesy. Cookies to anyone who can guess the identity of Jane's friend with benefits :)

* * *

J: Y'know, thunderstorms always remind me of u

M: Why's that?

J: Our 1rst night 2gether... the lightning bolts outside didn't hold a candle 2 the electricity sparklin between us...

M: Jane, our first time was during that heatwave last summer, on a day without any rain or thunderclouds in sight.

J: Oh fuck  
J: Maura pls 4give me, didnt mean 2 text u  
J: Guess that last bottle of beer was 2 much  
J: Really Maur, Im sorry

M: Jane, please calm down. Who was that text meant for?

* * *

...

J: Casey

M: My name is Maura.

J: I know that. My text was meant 4 Casey

M: Casey Jones, your ex-fiancé? I thought you two weren't on speaking terms.

J: We're not. I know another person named Casey  
J: &amp; we're just friends  
J: With benefits  
J: But we haven't slept 2gether since way before u &amp; I became lovers

M: If that's the case, what made you sext Casey tonight?

J: Between the thunderstorm outside, being away from u &amp; 2 bottles of beer, I was feeling nostalgic... &amp; a little hot &amp; bothered

M: Tell me more about that night you and Casey spent together.

J: Why?

M: I'm curious... and feeling a little "hot &amp; bothered" as well. :-)

J: Fine. 1 of my academy classmates got tickets 2 a Red Sox/Yankees game as a graduation gift. She asked me 2 come 2 NYC with her &amp; I said yes, of course. When we got out of the stadium we ran into this cute lil law student named Casey.  
J: We went 2 a bar, talked 4 hours, eventually Casey's friends &amp; my classmate excused themselves, &amp; Casey asked me 2 spend the night at her place. The rest is history.

M: Really? That's all I get?

J: C'mon Maura, u know I hate talking about sex &amp; stuff

M: Consider this your punishment for making me believe you had cheated on me.  
M: And if you need some incentive, think about me in bed, laying on top of the covers because it's too hot to get underneath, and wearing that teddy you like so much.

J: The dark blue one?

M: Yes.

J: Underwear?

M: No ;-)

J: Mmh... Casey was the 1rst person who made me cum with just her tongue. None of my boyfriends ever managed that - not that any of em tried more than once or twice.

M: I know what you mean, most of my male lovers were exactly the same. It's one of the reasons I'm so glad I found you - I always enjoy things more when my partner is obviously getting something out of them, too.

J: What can I say, I like how u taste :)

M: Likewise, Detective :-). Did you return the favor to Casey?

J: I tried, but back then I didn't hav the whole licking/breathing thing figured out yet, so I switched 2 my fingers 4 the last part. Casey didn't mind tho :)

M: I'm sure she didn't, those fingers of yours are very capable of making a girl feel good ;-). But what do you mean by "the licking/breathing thing"?

J: U kno, finding a balance between licking ur girl &amp; taking in air so u don't die of asphyxiation  
J: Which reminds me: Why do lesbians wanna be reborn as whales?

M: They do?

J: Yeah, so they can have 30 foot long tongues &amp; breathe thru holes on top of their heads :D What does a lesbian vampire say 2 the other lesbian vampire?

M: I'm not sure I want to know.

J: See ya next month. What do u call a lesbian in space?

...

J: Alien DeGeneres :)

* * *

M: ...back to topic, what else did you and Casey do that night?

J: U want a play by play Doc? ;)

M: Well, you're welcome to give me as much detail as you like. ;-)

J: We managed 2 behave ourselves durin the cab ride 2 Casey's dorm, but once inside she pushed me up against the door &amp; connected her lips 2 mine. We both tasted of beer &amp; fries, but couldn't hav cared less. Casey pulled away &amp; started suckin on my neck, giving me a major hickey, while getting my jeans open 1handed. I remember thinking "damn, this isn't her first time doing this", then she got down on her knees taking my pants &amp; panties with her. Not wasting any more time, she kissed her way up my thighs &amp; dove in. I was so worked up from earlier &amp; feeling her tongue on my most sensitive parts, I came almost embarassingly fast, slid down 2 the floor &amp; just sat there breathing heavily.

J: When I'd recovered some, she helped me up &amp; we made our way 2 her bed. I had the hardest time gettin her clothes off, I was sorta nervous since it was my 1rst time with a girl, but I managed. I remember being amazed that she had the same body parts as me, but still looked so different.

M: What did she look like?

J: Slim figure, about the same height as me &amp; tits about the size of mine, but her nipples were light pink instead of dark like mine. Red hair, bright green eyes &amp; some really cute freckles on her belly :)

M: So even back then you had a "thing" for freckles?

J: Yup. But I like yours even more than Casey's :)  
J: So anyway, I rolled her onto her back &amp; slowly kissed down her chest &amp; stomach 2 that lil patch of hair she had &amp; further down. I really liked her taste, but like I said I had 2 use my fingers for the last part 2 avoid asphyxiation. Suddenly she went all tense &amp; clamped down on my 2 fingers inside her, then moaned a bit &amp; fell down on the mattress, inner muscles still twitching round my fingers. I asked, did I make u cum? She gave me the biggest grin &amp; said, hell yeah, u sure this is ur first time with a girl?

J: Other than myself, yes, I said. By the way, didn't think u were a natural redhead. That remark earned me a pillow in my face.

M: Casey went down on you, then you went down on her, and then you two had a pillow fight? Sounds like a nice way to spend the night. :-)

J: Oh, its about 2 get even better. The pillow fight turned into a tickle fight, naked wrestling, &amp; humping each other's thighs till we both came again. We should totally try that when I get home.

M: Which part? The pillow fight, naked wrestling match, or making each other climax without using fingers, tongues, or toys?

J: Yes, yes &amp; yes, in that order ;)  
J: Was that enough detail 4 u?

...

J: Maura?

M: I think someone's trying to get into my house.

J: Well that someone would be me, I got home a day early :) Open the door pls :)

* * *

**A/N:**

1\. This came to me while watching a rerun of some crime show episodes on TV a few days ago. (No, I won't tell you what crime show it was, that'd make guessing the identity of Casey way too easy :)

2\. I don't know if I'll manage to upload another story before Christmas, so just in case I wish everyone happy holidays and a happy new year 2016. :)

MM-CB (formerly known as MM-UP)


End file.
